My Interview with Adam

[sound of a recorder turning on]

Mr. Adam, sir? May I have a few moments of your time?

- Sure, why not? Have we met? -

No sir. I'm Joseph Baille, a reporter for the New World Times. We'd like to publish a small historical documentary of your life as an article in our paper. You know that there is a very great interest in your life. All of our readers would love to hear your take on the events in the early days.

- Well, it is fine with me, I guess, but please understand it really doesn't cast either Eve or I in a very good light. Obviously, we messed up in a major way, what with doing exactly what God told us not to do. -

Sir, I'm sure you are aware that quite a few of our readers, probably most, believe that the blame should be mostly on Eve. After all, she was the one who first bit into the apple.

- This is a big part of what really bothers me, when God separated us into male and female, we were not made to be exactly the same. I was bigger and stronger than she, but she was much more curious and supportive. If the serpent had approached me first, I'm certain I'd have been suspicious, but probably would have tried it, eventually, anyway. I'm fairly sure that Eve just thought it was something she could try out for me, then let me know if it tasted good. Satan knew exactly how to play us... -

Just how did the apple taste?

- I still do not understand how it is that everybody still assumes it was an apple. It really wasn't, you know. It was somewhat pinkish in color, and sort of round, but with pointed edges. God told us it was the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and it was the only one of its type in the whole garden. Almost next to it, maybe fifteen or twenty steps away, was the tree of life. There was also only one of those in the garden. Its fruit was sort of like a small straight banana, with a smell like a cross between a rose and a pineapple. We never even tasted that one. -

Can you describe the garden for our readers?

- That is very hard to find the words to describe accurately. You see, it wasn't just on the earth. There was this one place where the corner of heaven actually touched the world that God created. Everything glowed with an amazing joy. I know that this sounds odd, but I still do not have the right words for it. God often walked with us, and our hearts were nearly filled to the bursting point with His grace. All animals loved God, and us. They would walk alongside us, making the happiest sounds you could ever imagine. Even the flowers all seemed to turn their blossoms toward the Father to give Him the glory He deserved. What could remotely be so wonderful? Then we blew it. Our sin felt as though we'd struck God physically. The awareness of what we'd done horrified us. We knew He should have destroyed every last vestige of us. I am so ashamed of what we did. Just thinking about it puts tears into my eyes once again. -

What happened then?

- Well, we were banished from the garden. There was no going back, not ever. What we took for granted in the garden was no longer to be. We had to work very hard, just to survive. When our first child was born, I really thought that Eve was going to die... so much pain she'd had to endure. We both realized we'd brought it on ourselves, but that didn't make it any easier, you know. I'll tell one thing about having children that really surprised us, though... belly-buttons! Neither Eve, nor I have one, because we'd never been born, and so had never needed an umbilical. After the third kid was born, we understood that navels were permanently a part of human beings, it just seemed weird, in the beginning. -

So, how long had you two lived in the garden?

- I'm not completely sure. It didn't seem like that long to us, but time just wasn't as important, then. I doubt it was much over eight to ten years, but it could as easily have been just five or six weeks. There never was any need to keep track of the passage of time, and God took care of everything we needed. -

Is there any way we can talk to Eve, just to get her take on all the events?

- Please don't, I beg you! She still thinks it was all her fault. It really wasn't, not at all! That serpent was trickier and more conniving than any of today's politicians. I'm sure he could have convinced me to eat that fruit first, instead of her. Maybe, if we'd have been together when Satan came calling... no, I think we'd still have failed God, just like we did then. Leave her out of this, okay? She's suffered a lot more than most people can ever begin to realize. She will always be my "other half." I will always love her with all that I am, and want to protect her, forever. -

Sure thing, Adam. This should be in tomorrow's paper. Thanks for your time.

[sound of recorder turning off]