...............(and Swiss cheese?)
The Bible is very clear on this subject... "And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth." (Gen 1:26) kjv
Chapter two of Genesis spells it out... "And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed." (Gen 2:7-8) kjv
Now, at this point, Adam was the ONLY human. Knowing what the future holds, God then makes this decision... "It is not good for the man to be by himself: I will make one like himself as a help to him." (Gen 2:18) bev
If we had to make a guess, we'd probably say He just grabbed up another handful of dust to do the job, just like He did with Adam. But, NO! Our wonderful Father did something even more fantastic! "Then the Lord God cast a deep sleep upon Adam: and when he was fast asleep, he took one of his ribs, and filled up flesh for it. And the Lord God built the rib which he took from Adam into a woman: and brought her to Adam. And Adam said: This now is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh."
(Gen 2:21-24) drv
God then separated Adam into two unique individuals, one male, the other female! And note the beautiful example He shows us so clearly... Adam and Eve are ONE! Every married couple should also be as one!
Think of this from a different point of view... All of us have strengths and weaknesses. Imagine, if you will, that we are all somewhat like slices of Swiss cheese. Not the processed, sandwich cheese, but the natural variety. If you hold up a slice, you will notice that there are several holes in every slice. Some are large, others may be tiny, but they all have holes. People are like this, too. Everybody has skill, talents, strengths and weaknesses. The ideal "significant other" should have strengths where your weaknesses are most apparent, and vice versa. For example, if you hold up two slices of Swiss cheese, one in front of the other, you may not see the holes line up at all. The gaps in one slice may "cover-up" the gaps in the other.
In looking for your future spouse, this is very important. You will go through life depending upon the other's strengths to keep you going when you've "bottomed out." He or she will likewise depend on you in the same manner. Sharing the same interests (or strengths) sounds great, and it can be very exciting, but, sharing the same weaknesses may very well be a recipe for disaster!
Remember... strength is more than just physical, and supporting each other means a lot more than just giving in.
Way too many people look for a partner who excites them sexually, with no regard for that person's ability to strengthen a relationship. Especially when we're young, and raging hormones try to take charge, we need to slow down and examine the potential for a strong relationship. It isn't that sex isn't important, but it should be part of a loving marriage, and not the reason for getting married in the first place.
Remember... "In the day that God created man, he made him in God's likeness. He created them male and female, and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created."
(Gen 5:1b-2) wev
Think about Swiss cheese when you are looking for life's perfect companion. Together, you need to be as strong as Adam and Eve.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Today...
Today really is an interesting day.
I glance at the calendar, and get a smile on my face. Every time I look at a clock I start calculating hours and minutes.
Why?
Ten years ago, today, at noon, I married the woman that I am sure was sent to me by God.
We met over the internet AFTER she'd relocated from Argentina to Orlando, Florida. A very bad childhood made it extremely difficult for her to trust guys, at all, and the people she'd met after arriving in the U.S. didn't seem to have helped matters, either.
I thought I was only looking for a pen-pal, mostly because I was not supposed to have all that many years left, due to some weird health problems. Also, I'd been married before, but my first wife had some personality-altering psychosis that changed her into something so bizarre that she was not even allowed to see our kids without supervision. A friend, who happened to be a priest, had our marriage annulled because he was convinced she was no longer the person I'd originally married. Prior to that, when I'd tried (repeatedly) to adopt another child, I was advised to re-apply as a single parent. Believe me, I neither planned nor hoped to remarry.
And yet, God arranged things a bit differently than we'd expected. I was concerned that this lady understand that Our Lord had her best interests at heart, and probably had someone already picked out for her. And He did! As it turned out, it was me!
A few short weeks of being pen-pals made us realize we cared deeply for each other. We wanted to meet, but I still had a teenager in the nest, so she traveled here. That was July 3rd, and on the 9th, we were married.
I am aware that this is not the normal way for folks to get hitched. I suspect it would not have worked for any other couple, and I thank God that He intervened on our behalf.
Couples have to accept that there are always going to be differences between them.
Always...
In general, guys don't vocalize their feelings as much as do women, they hate shopping, love sports and like to view life as a power contest, very much like their favorite sport(s).
Women, thrive on conversation, love to go shopping, think almost all sports are boring and want their home-life to be the safe refuge from the world.
Are their exceptions? Again, always...
It is important to remember that God has always known what you'd be like, what you'd need and want. The right choice in your spouse is the one who completes you, makes you into the stable and viable individual that God meant you to be.
God blessed me a lot, and you too, if you think about it.
In closing; Guys, tell her you love her. Tell her a lot! Don't stop, not ever. Keep proving to her that the passage of time will never dull your interest in her. And ladies, he won't ever be very expressive about things that are not contests (again, like sports). Its OK to ask for reminders, just don't be hurt if they are not as automatic as you'd like.
Cars wear out, paint fades, styles change and we all get older, but true love only improves with use and age.
Till we meet again, in Paradise!
I glance at the calendar, and get a smile on my face. Every time I look at a clock I start calculating hours and minutes.
Why?
Ten years ago, today, at noon, I married the woman that I am sure was sent to me by God.
We met over the internet AFTER she'd relocated from Argentina to Orlando, Florida. A very bad childhood made it extremely difficult for her to trust guys, at all, and the people she'd met after arriving in the U.S. didn't seem to have helped matters, either.
I thought I was only looking for a pen-pal, mostly because I was not supposed to have all that many years left, due to some weird health problems. Also, I'd been married before, but my first wife had some personality-altering psychosis that changed her into something so bizarre that she was not even allowed to see our kids without supervision. A friend, who happened to be a priest, had our marriage annulled because he was convinced she was no longer the person I'd originally married. Prior to that, when I'd tried (repeatedly) to adopt another child, I was advised to re-apply as a single parent. Believe me, I neither planned nor hoped to remarry.
And yet, God arranged things a bit differently than we'd expected. I was concerned that this lady understand that Our Lord had her best interests at heart, and probably had someone already picked out for her. And He did! As it turned out, it was me!
A few short weeks of being pen-pals made us realize we cared deeply for each other. We wanted to meet, but I still had a teenager in the nest, so she traveled here. That was July 3rd, and on the 9th, we were married.
I am aware that this is not the normal way for folks to get hitched. I suspect it would not have worked for any other couple, and I thank God that He intervened on our behalf.
Couples have to accept that there are always going to be differences between them.
Always...
In general, guys don't vocalize their feelings as much as do women, they hate shopping, love sports and like to view life as a power contest, very much like their favorite sport(s).
Women, thrive on conversation, love to go shopping, think almost all sports are boring and want their home-life to be the safe refuge from the world.
Are their exceptions? Again, always...
It is important to remember that God has always known what you'd be like, what you'd need and want. The right choice in your spouse is the one who completes you, makes you into the stable and viable individual that God meant you to be.
God blessed me a lot, and you too, if you think about it.
In closing; Guys, tell her you love her. Tell her a lot! Don't stop, not ever. Keep proving to her that the passage of time will never dull your interest in her. And ladies, he won't ever be very expressive about things that are not contests (again, like sports). Its OK to ask for reminders, just don't be hurt if they are not as automatic as you'd like.
Cars wear out, paint fades, styles change and we all get older, but true love only improves with use and age.
Till we meet again, in Paradise!
Friday, June 24, 2011
Have you met Eve?
...or Adam?
The first husband and wife, both were originally part of the first human being, and were made from that first human, who was also named 'Adam.'
God said, "Let us make people in our image, to be like ourselves. They will be masters over all life - the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all livestock, wild animals, and small animals." So God created people in His own image. God patterned them after himself, male and female He created them." (Gen 1:26-27)nlt
He made them to be the first man and wife. Each was made to be the compliment of each other. They went from being one person to being two, and then one through marriage.
Yes, I know that marriage didn't exist officially yet... but look at what God said, "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him." (Gen 2:18)nlt "So the Lord God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep. He took one of Adam's ribs and closed up the place from which He had taken it. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib and brought her to Adam." (Gen 2:21-22)nlt
First they were one, then two, then they became husband and wife.
God knows what He is doing! We all need a spouse who completes us. That person becomes our Eve (or Adam), and we become one!
So, when I ask, "Have you met Eve (or Adam)?" it is not really a rhetorical question. I am asking if you've met the person who completes you. Is that individual truly "your other half?" This is a very important question to ask.
Ten years ago, on May 19th, I met a wonderful woman through a pen-pal service. I'm aware that is not the best (or safest) way to meet, but she became very special to me, very quickly. Less than two months later, we married.
Neither of us is perfect. Mind you, that is not God's design. Rather, we both fill each others gaps, watch out for the other, love each other and make each other our top priority, after God.
If you meet someone about whom you are wondering, "Is this the right person for me?" Ask yourself this question, "Does he or she complete me in the way God intended?" Passion often blinds us to what God wants. It should be a part of your married life, but should never be the sole reason for marriage. Reflecting God's love is!
See you soon, in Paradise!
The first husband and wife, both were originally part of the first human being, and were made from that first human, who was also named 'Adam.'
God said, "Let us make people in our image, to be like ourselves. They will be masters over all life - the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all livestock, wild animals, and small animals." So God created people in His own image. God patterned them after himself, male and female He created them." (Gen 1:26-27)nlt
He made them to be the first man and wife. Each was made to be the compliment of each other. They went from being one person to being two, and then one through marriage.
Yes, I know that marriage didn't exist officially yet... but look at what God said, "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him." (Gen 2:18)nlt "So the Lord God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep. He took one of Adam's ribs and closed up the place from which He had taken it. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib and brought her to Adam." (Gen 2:21-22)nlt
First they were one, then two, then they became husband and wife.
God knows what He is doing! We all need a spouse who completes us. That person becomes our Eve (or Adam), and we become one!
So, when I ask, "Have you met Eve (or Adam)?" it is not really a rhetorical question. I am asking if you've met the person who completes you. Is that individual truly "your other half?" This is a very important question to ask.
Ten years ago, on May 19th, I met a wonderful woman through a pen-pal service. I'm aware that is not the best (or safest) way to meet, but she became very special to me, very quickly. Less than two months later, we married.
Neither of us is perfect. Mind you, that is not God's design. Rather, we both fill each others gaps, watch out for the other, love each other and make each other our top priority, after God.
If you meet someone about whom you are wondering, "Is this the right person for me?" Ask yourself this question, "Does he or she complete me in the way God intended?" Passion often blinds us to what God wants. It should be a part of your married life, but should never be the sole reason for marriage. Reflecting God's love is!
See you soon, in Paradise!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Ladies' Nite
OK guys, its ladies' nite (so to speak), read on at the peril of your previous convictions...
Women have all recognized that men are different (some are a lot more different than others). Why, you wonder? Lets examine the differences, and the reasons for them...
In general, men are bigger, stronger, more interested in contact sports, hunting, war movies, violent video games, boxing, wrestling... do you see a theme here? We are very aware that men mature over a longer time than do women, why is that? Then, too, most men are not so great at conversation or shopping, is there something that ties these all together?
Within any society, men's and women's jobs differ, especially so in reproduction. Since the female is blessed by God with the ability to bear children, her mate MUST be her defender! Imagine, if you will, a family traveling. Mrs Caveman is 7 or 8 months pregnant, carrying her 1 year-old on her right hip, and the family's belongings (some animal skins and a sharp stick) on her back, when a cougar jumps in to attack. Mr Caveman leaps in with his spear and club, parries off the attacking big cat, then kills it.
Too untimely, you say? Alright...
Mr and Mrs Smith are leaving the civic function and dinner. It is fairly late at night. She, in order to present a good image, is wearing her best clothes and jewels. Suddenly a doped-up psycho leaps out from behind a van, intent on assaulting her and stealing her jewels. Mr Smith leaps to her defense, using his barely-remembered high-school boxing training to save her.
In both cases, the man must be single-minded enough to see the desired end result as a path-line through all possibilities, otherwise his mate suffers the consequences. Women are generally much better at keeping track of multiple tasks, but, to be a good defender, men must be able to single-task to the near total exclusion of any distractions. Men pay a fairly hefty price for this concentration enhancement. During pregnancy, the mother's body actually attacks the unborn male baby's brain, destroying many of the cross-linkages that allow the multi-tasking process to work. In other words, a male is made to be a primarily single-tasking expert. There are other costs, as well. Males are usually much less verbose, which makes it harder for him to express his feelings to you. He will assume you understand that his coming home at night shows you just how much he cares. You worry why he doesn't express his love for you very much? To himself, he thinks; "Hey, I told her I loved her just last month! Tonight I had seconds of her stew, how could she not know?"
Some of what the bible says appears to put women down, as regards men. For example, these verses are often misinterpreted...
Eph 5:22-24 "Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." (kjv)
Col 3:18-19 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them." (kjv)
Many men (and women) choose to read a near-slavery into these verses, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Women are told to submit to husbands and to God the same way! It does not say you are enslaved. It does say, "...as it is fit in the Lord." In other words, as it is right by God. So, why would it say that "the husband is the head of the wife?" Think back to the single-tasking caveman above, as he jumped to her defense, he shouted to his wife, "RUN!" Should she not run, she could easily be killed by the cougar, along with her baby and unborn child. The husband is the defender of the family, and leads it, much as a general is the leader of the army, & for much the same reason, survival! Note that the husband is told to not be bitter against his wife, but to love her.
God has put a lot of extra time into making your husband, your defender. Trust God to know what He is doing. Recognize that your man will not be as good as you at some tasks. It doesn't mean he has stopped loving you, he may just need a little jog to his memory, every so often. Remember when you first met how you leaned lightly against him as you waited in line at the movies? How you touched his hand as he drove? How you stared into his eyes at dinner? These are some of the most profound declarations of love you ever made to him, and they are completely non-verbal. You were speaking "his language."
Remember, also, he asked you to marry him. He didn't ask that air-headed twit who jiggled so much when she walked that both her brain cells rattled. Sometimes, your guy just needs to be reminded of your love, and his.
A woman's role is difficult enough. Often, she is Christ's representative to her children, as well as her husband. Keep God in the middle of your marriage. Don't let the world shake your confidence. God gave you a tough job, because He knew you were tough enough. Prove Him right!
See you soon, in paradise!
Mr Mike
Women have all recognized that men are different (some are a lot more different than others). Why, you wonder? Lets examine the differences, and the reasons for them...
In general, men are bigger, stronger, more interested in contact sports, hunting, war movies, violent video games, boxing, wrestling... do you see a theme here? We are very aware that men mature over a longer time than do women, why is that? Then, too, most men are not so great at conversation or shopping, is there something that ties these all together?
Within any society, men's and women's jobs differ, especially so in reproduction. Since the female is blessed by God with the ability to bear children, her mate MUST be her defender! Imagine, if you will, a family traveling. Mrs Caveman is 7 or 8 months pregnant, carrying her 1 year-old on her right hip, and the family's belongings (some animal skins and a sharp stick) on her back, when a cougar jumps in to attack. Mr Caveman leaps in with his spear and club, parries off the attacking big cat, then kills it.
Too untimely, you say? Alright...
Mr and Mrs Smith are leaving the civic function and dinner. It is fairly late at night. She, in order to present a good image, is wearing her best clothes and jewels. Suddenly a doped-up psycho leaps out from behind a van, intent on assaulting her and stealing her jewels. Mr Smith leaps to her defense, using his barely-remembered high-school boxing training to save her.
In both cases, the man must be single-minded enough to see the desired end result as a path-line through all possibilities, otherwise his mate suffers the consequences. Women are generally much better at keeping track of multiple tasks, but, to be a good defender, men must be able to single-task to the near total exclusion of any distractions. Men pay a fairly hefty price for this concentration enhancement. During pregnancy, the mother's body actually attacks the unborn male baby's brain, destroying many of the cross-linkages that allow the multi-tasking process to work. In other words, a male is made to be a primarily single-tasking expert. There are other costs, as well. Males are usually much less verbose, which makes it harder for him to express his feelings to you. He will assume you understand that his coming home at night shows you just how much he cares. You worry why he doesn't express his love for you very much? To himself, he thinks; "Hey, I told her I loved her just last month! Tonight I had seconds of her stew, how could she not know?"
Some of what the bible says appears to put women down, as regards men. For example, these verses are often misinterpreted...
Eph 5:22-24 "Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." (kjv)
Col 3:18-19 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them." (kjv)
Many men (and women) choose to read a near-slavery into these verses, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Women are told to submit to husbands and to God the same way! It does not say you are enslaved. It does say, "...as it is fit in the Lord." In other words, as it is right by God. So, why would it say that "the husband is the head of the wife?" Think back to the single-tasking caveman above, as he jumped to her defense, he shouted to his wife, "RUN!" Should she not run, she could easily be killed by the cougar, along with her baby and unborn child. The husband is the defender of the family, and leads it, much as a general is the leader of the army, & for much the same reason, survival! Note that the husband is told to not be bitter against his wife, but to love her.
God has put a lot of extra time into making your husband, your defender. Trust God to know what He is doing. Recognize that your man will not be as good as you at some tasks. It doesn't mean he has stopped loving you, he may just need a little jog to his memory, every so often. Remember when you first met how you leaned lightly against him as you waited in line at the movies? How you touched his hand as he drove? How you stared into his eyes at dinner? These are some of the most profound declarations of love you ever made to him, and they are completely non-verbal. You were speaking "his language."
Remember, also, he asked you to marry him. He didn't ask that air-headed twit who jiggled so much when she walked that both her brain cells rattled. Sometimes, your guy just needs to be reminded of your love, and his.
A woman's role is difficult enough. Often, she is Christ's representative to her children, as well as her husband. Keep God in the middle of your marriage. Don't let the world shake your confidence. God gave you a tough job, because He knew you were tough enough. Prove Him right!
See you soon, in paradise!
Mr Mike
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Stand Together or Fall Apart
At one time, or another, all married couples experience a situation wherein strain within the marriage threatens our stability. It is very important that we recognize such problems and not let them come between us.
How do we prevent this? It is very important that we each see our spouse for what he or she truly is; the one who really is our "other half."
Marriage ceremonies commonly use the phrase, "the two shall become one." We tend to think it is symbolic, just a "part of the package." But why use these words? What do they imply? Why are they in the ceremony at all?
From Genesis, we know that God made Adam. God then said, "It is not good that man should be alone." He "caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep." While Adam slept, God removed a rib from Adam’s side, from which He formed Eve. At this point, we have the first man and woman. Obviously, Adam and Eve were both originally one. Each was the other’s "other half." Made from the same stock, each completed the other. Adam was Eve’s complement, and she was his. Were they exactly equal? Of course not! That was never God’s intent!
Since then, men and women have often looked at each other, and wondered, "Why can’t he/she see things my way?" or "Doesn’t she/he understand how much this will hurt me?" Questions like this illustrate the fact that men and women do think differently. It helps to understand that we were intended by our Creator to be different from each other.
Women have been especially blessed by God to hold a tiny part of His creation. Within them, human life can start, and grow. But, because a woman is nearly defenseless during the last of her pregnancy and childbirth, her spouse MUST be her defender. This requires him to think linearly. He must see problems and solutions as a line with discrete steps along the way. Since he has to think this way to ensure her survival, she has been better equipped by God to be able to keep track of home, kids, supplies, etc, the things for which most men are usually not as well suited.
Our God has arranged all this most marvelously well. With man as the defender, and woman the caretaker, we stand as two of the three legs of a tripod. God is, and must be, the third leg. We cannot allow anything to pry us apart. If you pull one of the tripod’s legs away from the rest, it will collapse. If we allow either of the human legs to pried away from the other, or from God, the "marriage tripod" will likewise no longer stand. If there is an irritant between yourself, and either God or your spouse, you must get that irritant out from the center, so that you have God and the strength of the marriage to help you deal with it. Take all problems to the Lord in prayer, and rely on His guidance.
Stand together or fall apart. The choice is ours!
See you again soon, in Paradise!
Mr Mike
How do we prevent this? It is very important that we each see our spouse for what he or she truly is; the one who really is our "other half."
Marriage ceremonies commonly use the phrase, "the two shall become one." We tend to think it is symbolic, just a "part of the package." But why use these words? What do they imply? Why are they in the ceremony at all?
From Genesis, we know that God made Adam. God then said, "It is not good that man should be alone." He "caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep." While Adam slept, God removed a rib from Adam’s side, from which He formed Eve. At this point, we have the first man and woman. Obviously, Adam and Eve were both originally one. Each was the other’s "other half." Made from the same stock, each completed the other. Adam was Eve’s complement, and she was his. Were they exactly equal? Of course not! That was never God’s intent!
Since then, men and women have often looked at each other, and wondered, "Why can’t he/she see things my way?" or "Doesn’t she/he understand how much this will hurt me?" Questions like this illustrate the fact that men and women do think differently. It helps to understand that we were intended by our Creator to be different from each other.
Women have been especially blessed by God to hold a tiny part of His creation. Within them, human life can start, and grow. But, because a woman is nearly defenseless during the last of her pregnancy and childbirth, her spouse MUST be her defender. This requires him to think linearly. He must see problems and solutions as a line with discrete steps along the way. Since he has to think this way to ensure her survival, she has been better equipped by God to be able to keep track of home, kids, supplies, etc, the things for which most men are usually not as well suited.
Our God has arranged all this most marvelously well. With man as the defender, and woman the caretaker, we stand as two of the three legs of a tripod. God is, and must be, the third leg. We cannot allow anything to pry us apart. If you pull one of the tripod’s legs away from the rest, it will collapse. If we allow either of the human legs to pried away from the other, or from God, the "marriage tripod" will likewise no longer stand. If there is an irritant between yourself, and either God or your spouse, you must get that irritant out from the center, so that you have God and the strength of the marriage to help you deal with it. Take all problems to the Lord in prayer, and rely on His guidance.
Stand together or fall apart. The choice is ours!
See you again soon, in Paradise!
Mr Mike
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