All are our children - part 2

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Just as with boys, girls recognize that there are others in their lives. Dad and the other siblings are her companions, but mom remains the most important for some time. Your daughter will notice, however, the interaction between mom and dad. She sees that mom is happier when both parents get along, and that mom feels down when they don't. Since your little girl is patterning herself after mom, she begins to base her own value on dad's response to her. If pop doesn't have the time for her, can't be bothered with her little attempts at affection, or just flat-out makes it plain he only wanted big strapping boys (not girls!), she will seek elsewhere for her self-esteem. This will also make it harder for mom to continue to be her role model.

Many men are repulsed by their daughter's attention, thinking there is something perverse in a father loving his little girl, probably because of the vile behavior displayed so prominently in movies, news and television. If they have witnessed it for themselves when they were kids, whether in their own homes, neighborhoods or schools, most adult males will resist anything they think is remotely similar, Unfortunately, this may set your child up to victimized by any pervert who comes along, who is watching for these signs in your daughters! If she cannot get attention from dad, and thereby see that she is worth his time, attention and affection, she will seek it wherever she can find it, and Joe Scuzzball is prowling out there!

Guys, more than anyone else, you have the opportunity to keep her safe and to make her confident in her self-worth, but it isn't going to happen if you wait until she is 16, then start reading to all her boyfriends from the book of threats. The time to start bolstering her ego is when you first notice her attempts to get your attention. It will not be the same for every kid, but could easily start before age 8, and may be as late as age 12.

Ask her to go on a date with you! Yes, ask her, don't just tell her she is going. Within reason, allow her to select the agenda. Escort her to the car, seat her first, see to her comfort then thank her for going out with you. Remember, this is what will set her expectations for all dates to come! Don't blow it by being a jerk or losing your cool. (Mom, this is one of the few events you should not attend. Give your daughter a chance to be Cinderella for the evening, she’ll tell you all about it later.) If you take her to a restaurant, allow her to choose the course, or, at least, her own dinner. Compliment her on her appearance and tastes. Again, treat her in the manner you wish her future dates to treat her, so that she will also expect it of them. What you do, where you go, how she is treated and the time of your return all set the stage for her future date patterns, so show her just how much you respect her. Above all, be sure you both have a good time!

How often? Initially, a special date-night should be somewhat infrequent, and never on a night when she has school the next day. As she gets older, perhaps every month or two, and it might continue a bit after she starts regular dating. You'll know when it is time to stop, because she will no longer have the time or inclination, but she will remember your love, kindness and attention forever.

Oh, yeah, take lots of pictures. You will not believe how much you will miss this when has passed. Never forget that you will have given her a self-image that will last her lifetime, the confidence in herself she will need to function as an adult, and an aura of love that will last her for all of her life. Job well done!

Ephesians 6:1-3 tells us; "Children, obey your parents; this is the right thing to do because God has placed them in authority over you. Honor your father and your mother. This is the first of God's Ten Commandments that end with a promise. And this is the promise: that if you honor your father and mother, yours will be a long life, full of blessing." God has placed parents in a position of leadership and authority over children for a reason! They must have our control, as well as our love. Every interaction we have with our kids carries the opportunity to make them stronger, both from God's perspective, and from ours.

Colossians 3:20-21 instructs us; "You children must always obey your fathers and mothers, for that pleases the Lord. Fathers, don't scold your children so much that they become discouraged and quit trying." If we make the learning process fun, our kids will find it easier to learn. Your daughters will learn their value from you, or they will learn the world's value system. Which do you prefer?

1 John 2:15-16 gives us this admonition; "Stop loving this evil world and all that it offers you, for when you love these things you show that you do not really love God; for all these worldly things' these evil desires - the craze for sex, the ambition to buy everything that appeals to you, and the pride that comes from wealth and importance - these are not from God. They are from this evil world itself." (all quotes TLB) This is an incredibly important lesson, and it is one that your kids can never learn from the world! They need you! They need your love, and they need your values.

Their future requires it.

Their safety demands it.

Live up to the responsibility!

Mr Mike